Happy Mothers Day
by Maxine Laceby
2 weeks ago
Happy Mothers Day to me!
To my beautiful girls Darcy and Margot the pleasure has been all mine and thank you for shaping who I am today.
Anyone who knows me will hear me say on many occasions ‘I was put on this earth to be a mother’ and have seen me truly ‘owning who I am’.
The moment my first child was born I felt complete for the first time in my life. Watching them blossom into the people they are today has been a pleasure. It also been incredibly hard work and a huge responsibility, being responsible for the physical, spiritual and mental growth of another human being is a role that comes with serious consequences…. and no handbook! We are all learning on the job. When I brought my eldest home for the first time, I had no idea how to deal with a new born and today I have no idea how to deal with a 22yr old (I will let you know when she’s 22!)
What I did feel from the second they were born is that they are the ‘most important thing in my life’ and they deserve to be given the best tools in order to be able to go forward and carve their own way in their own way.
You see for me, my duty to my girls has been to prepare them to live without me, ensuring they can handle any situation that comes their way. Handling it their way and not mine, you see they are individuals, whilst they are 50% me and 50% their dad, they also have their own make up that shapes them and makes them unique. I have taught my girls they are responsible for their own actions and most come with consequences and as long as they are happy with the outcome then that’s ok. I have never battled with them and have certainly not been a helicopter mum, I have allowed them to be, and have applied my principles of ‘sir’ to bringing them up; Yes sir, no sir, 3 bags full sir, S.I.R; That’s not to say they are feral and I have not had my say, it’s to say they have been brought up to feel Safe, Important and Respected. I believe children should be seen and most certainly heard.
They have of course made mistakes, but again that’s all part of leaning, my youngest was in a situation that was causing her lots of emotional pain and she would ask me what she should do, I told her that when it hurt that much she would stop and she did, what I do know is that she had to experience that situation and feel that pain in order to never tolerate it again. Standing back and allowing my girls to experience a situation so they learn from it is hard, but I look at them on many occasions and think ‘my work here is done’. They are strong, capable, honest, respectful, sensitive, fun and happy but most of all they are individuals who own who they are.
I have taught my girls they can be anything they want; all they have to do is believe in themselves and they have to make it happen. I recall telling my eldest Darcy this when she was about 5, she looked at me and said, ‘a horse I want to be a horse’ Now that took some explaining!
My girls rightly or wrongly have always ‘run the roost’ and that was ok for me. My youngest once said to me, “it’s no fun in this house as there’s no rules” my answer to her was “there are rules Margot but you make them, you have been brought up with self-respect and you set your own boundaries” she thought about it and said “omg you’re right” and I can honestly say I have never had to wonder where they are, who their with and what they’re doing.
Whilst I got to know myself from being a mother I still felt there was certain things I had to conform to in order for my children to fit in, things I didn’t quite agree with but to make a stance would have led to my children being ‘different’ something no child wants to be. However, through my business I don’t have to conform, I do have a duty however to show my girls the ‘right way’ to run a business, teaching them professionalism and we apply with my principles of ‘SIR’ to every aspect of our business.
Both my girls work within my business, Absolute Collagen (because they choose to) but that hasn’t always been the case. My girls have seen me do some crazy things. I once took them to China for an elastic band but that’s another story, so when I started cooking up huge vats of pig’s trotters and chicken feet in order to extract the collagen, they both just looked at one another and shook their heads. The craziest thing is Darcy’s degree was in food development and there was no connection with the collagen until her final year and her dissertation was on my product, how weird is that? Or is it? See I believe that you get back what you give and if your energy is good, honest and pure then the same energy will be returned, and I can truly see that through my girls.
What I’d like to say is thank you Darcy and Margot for the gift of motherhood and for assisting me in owing who I am and becoming Maxine